Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
