no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
