I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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