Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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