all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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