I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
