Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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