Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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