I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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