i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
