my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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