found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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