There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
