She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
