So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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