white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
