You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
