Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Welp...herpes.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
