The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
