Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize