He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
