Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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