it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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