there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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