Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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