So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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