what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
