Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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