I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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