what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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