i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
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The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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