it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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