guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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