Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
another moral hangover. fuck.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
