Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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