I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
