I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
