...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
