they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
