No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
