If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
handjob tips. give me some.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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