Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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