Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi