Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
