THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.