Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol