Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
