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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She can rap better than you any day

  Fav 4 2953 1187

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.

  Fav 8 989 1574

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

  (571): View more from Virginia

  She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

  Fav 11 3140 1047

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom

  Fav 22 4922 1321

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (214): View more from Texas

  There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.

  Fav 13 3144 1005

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover

  Fav 6 1187 1386

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.

  Fav 3 1734 806

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay

  Fav 5 667 1050

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.

  Fav 12 651 1295

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.

  Fav 2 777 458

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.

  Fav 0 541 349

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem

  Fav 1 385 245

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.

  Fav 0 228 160

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?

  Fav 3 18 209

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.

  Fav 3 19 41

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