I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero