Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
