She went from zero to smokin in five shots
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus