i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
