So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
