There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.