Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
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As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis