we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize