Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
