You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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