Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
