He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
