Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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