We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
