I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
