omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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