I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize