I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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