The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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