nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
