And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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